Going Postal - Those Damn Cell Phones!

We have signs all over our shop asking people to please turn off the cell phones. There is a reason for this. It's just plain rude to carry on a conversation while we are trying to provide service.

Twice in one week I was given the finger trying to wait on a drive thru customer. No, not that finger. The one where someone raises their hand in the international "Wait a minute" signal. Why would someone in the drive thru ask me to wait a minute when I try to wait on them? Because they are busy yakking on their cell phone!! The first time, I walked straight past Mr. "I have to finish this call" and went to the next car. He got more than a minute to finish his call, believe me. The second time, I simply closed the door and waited on three customers in line inside before I turned back to the rude beyotch who had to finish her "oh so important" phone call.

Don't even ask me how tempted I was to give them a different finger right back at them.....

The absolute rudest and most repulsive cell phone abuser yet? My boss was waiting on a customer. She had taken the credit card, run it through the scanner, returned with the receipt. In the meantime, customer got a call from her friggin' gardener on her cell phone. My boss placed the credit card, the receipt, and a pen on the counter in front of her to sign. The customer (still talking to Jose the gardener) starts waving a hand at my boss. What the hell? Finally, customer reaches across the counter, GRABS my boss's hand, and places it on top of her receipt to hold it still so she can sign it without removing her other hand from her cell phone!!!! Can you even imagine the nerve???

Here's a clue for all you people that can't stop talking on your phone while someone is waiting on you: Feel free to keep talking on your phone as long as you like. Don't mind us if we wait on the other customers who are ready for us. You can wait. We won't.

Seriously people, get a clue.

"Tired of playing post office"

On Monday, we got slammed with about 500 customers. That is quite a lot for our little CPU. There were only two of us working from 1:00-6:00. Barely time to breathe. At the end of the day, my boss said that she was "tired of playing post office". 99% of our customers are very nice. But that other 1%? Not so much. And some of them are so damned needy!!!

Love it when someone walks up with an armful of stuff and says "I need to mail this". Well, no shit. You also need a box, or other container. Tape? Well, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to charge you if your box isn't taped. We have to buy it, so you'll have to buy it from us. And, no, boxes aren't free either. Unless you want to send it priority mail. The USPS provides those boxes for free. The catch is that you have to ship it using their priority service. Yes, it's a little more expensive. But, hey, free box!

Need an envelope to mail that letter? No, those aren't free either. Sorry, copies also aren't free. Ten cents apiece.

Why do people think that we have to provide everything for nothing?

And there is no such thing as "regular" mail. I show you the options on the screen after your package is weighed. I show you that the choices are first class or parcel post, priority and express. When you say "Just send it regular", I want to scream. Did I give you "regular" as an option? Do you see "regular" on the screen????

And if you put your return address on the center of the package right above the addressee, don't be surprised if the damn package is mailed back to your house! Oh, and when addressing an envelope or package, please remember to leave room for the damn postage at the upper right corner! It amazes me how many people do not know how to address a package or an envelope!! Here's a tip: Return address on upper left hand corner. Addressee: center vertically and horizontally on the package. Postage: Upper right hand corner. Got it?

Yes, I am beginning to understand the term "going postal" much better these days.

Going Postal - Two Cent Panic!!

New postal rates went into effect Monday, May 14. In the first four hours that we were open, we sold 16,000 two-cent stamps! So much work for so little money, if the truth be told.

And, of course, all the rates went up. So everyone was cranky. All day.

Late in the day, there were about six people in line. And a car at the drive-thru. I took care of one customer, then opened the door at the drive-thru and said "Can I help you?". Drive-thru diva person was yakking on her cell phone. I waited a second or two for her to acknowledge that I was there. Then when I got no response, I went back inside the door and waited on the next person in line. The one who wasn't yakking on her phone and deserved my attention. Drive-thru diva had a fit. Oh well, lady. Cell phones are the absolute bane of our existence. We are not going to hold up everyone in line until you finish your conversation!

Another DTD (drive-thru diva) wanted to exchange her 39 cent stamps for 41 cent stamps. Sorry, ma'am, I can sell you two-cent stamps, but we don't exchange. She wasn't happy. I tried to explain to her that in ten years, those stamps will still be worth 39 cents and all she has to do is add additional postage for a first class letter. There is no expiration date on stamps! She said she was going to go the 'real' post office to exchange them. I'm sure that after she waited 1/2 hour in their line, only to be told the same thing, that she was even more miserable. Serves her right.

Going Postal - The Drive-thru Divas

We have a unique feature - the drive-through post office! It's meant to be a convenience, but as usual, there are people who abuse it.

Mailing a package? Before you come to the drive-thru, it helps if the item you are mailing is already packaged. I've had people drive up with stuff in a plastic bag and they want me to get them a box or an envelope. That's not a problem if they want to use USPS Priority mail because we keep those behind the counter. We also have shipping supplies (envelopes, boxes, tape) that we sell out in the store area.

Some people get testy if I ask them if they are going to use priority mail. Believe me, I'm NOT trying to rip you off. For a small package, there might be $1 difference betweeen priority and parcel post (the cheapest mail service). The priority box is free...... but if you want to use parcel post, you'll have to provide your own box. And if you show up in the drive-thru without a box, you'll have to buy one from us. So you are going to spend $1.29 or $1.99 just to buy the box, and then pay postage to ship it parcel post, instead of using the free priority box and spending an extra $1 on postage. Not to mention, your package gets delivered faster. In most cases, it will be cheaper to mail it priority with the free box.

If you want me to go out into the store and get you an envelope while you tie up the line in the drive-thru, and then wait while you address it and finish your transaction, I'm not going to pick out the 21 cent manila envelope for you. You're going to get the 99 cent bubble envelope. If you want the cheapest, park your car, come into the store and pick out your own envelope. Got that? Okay.

Drive-thru diva of the week was the hot mama in the back seat of the Ford F150 extended cab pickup. Blonde and slow daughter was driving. Mama holds up a little makeup bag/purse and says she wants to mail this to Dallas. I get her a priority envelope and mailing label. She looks at me and says "I am illiterate. Can you please fill out the label for me?"

I grab my clipboard, standing next to her truck, while she is applying mascara...... she then proceeds to spell the name of the person to whom she is mailing the package, AND the name of the street. Why do I feel like a sucker here?

Dumb blonde daughter in the front seat is filling out an envelope to be mailed. I ring up mama's package, take her money, and expect them to drive off. But dumb blonde daugher isn't ready yet. Now there are about four more cars behind them.

Finally blondie's ready and I take the letter she wants to mail. Total transaction time, about 15 minutes.

Ridiculous.

Going Postal

I work in a US Postal Service "Contract Unit". What is a contract unit? It is an 'official' US Postal Service site, but operated under a private contract with non-federal employees. The USPS has basically outsourced an operation in an area that needs a post office, but without the capital investment of building one or hiring federal employees. Very cost effective, don't ya think? The CPU (Control Postal Unit) isn't our only business, but it definitely takes up most of our time!

We provide all postal services except we do not sell postal money orders, have PO boxes, issue passport applications or issue the 'sooper sekrit secure' registered mail. And, unlike private mail services, we do not charge more for your postage. You pay nothing extra for mailing a letter or package. And we smile and provide great customer service. Oh, and we also have a drive through window! What could be better?

I really do love the work. Almost all of our customers are great. And we have a decent amount of 'regular' customers, too.

I would just like to say one thing. Your mail is handled with extreme care at our facility. We go above and beyond the call of duty. What happens after it is picked up and shipped to the postal distribution center? I cannot vouch for that!

A couple of things that drive me nuts - people who bring in something and ask "Will this be there tomorrow? (or the next day)"
Not unless you send it Express mail, which is our most expensive option. "But it's only ten miles away!!" Well, if it's only ten miles away, maybe you should deliver it yourself, okay? Distance doesn't matter really, because it still gets put into the mailstream with thousands of other pieces of mail and is sorted for delivery. Yeah, it might get there tomorrow. Or it might not get there until next week. Sorrrrry.

Another thing that makes me crazy is that some people have not learned how to address an envelope/box. Return address? Upper left hand corner, please. Recipient address? Large and center (vertically and horizontally) on the package/envelope. Remember to leave room for the postage, please!! And if the to/from addresses are directly on top of each other, don't be surprised if your package comes back to you as the recipient instead of the sender!

And it's not our fault that the price of postage is going up! We're sorry!

There are a few nits, but lots of fun things about working in our CPU. More stories about that later!