Friday, May 19, 2006

Less than a week.....


In one week, my oldest will be graduating from high school. Where did the last 18 years go? I have two wonderful sons. I know that I'm a mom and slightly biased, but I really am blessed.

For four years, Greg has attained academic achievement (honor roll), has a 4.2 GPA, is a member of the National Honor Society, the Math Honor Society, has had three years of leadership positions in band, had a major role in the production of "Beauty and the Beast", and he has the best laugh of anyone I know. He has a booming laugh which reminds me so much of my dad.

Chris is just finishing his freshman year. Chris also got academic achievement this year with a very difficult schedule crammed with pre-AP classes. He was on the freshman football team and he played high school hockey, plus he was a member of a AA travel hockey team.

Both of them are very smart and very talented. And I have no idea what I ever did to deserve them. There have been times when I wonder who I would be if I hadn't quit my job 16 years ago. I need to get back into the workplace, especially with Greg going off to college. I'm scared though because I have 16 years of nothing. Nothing except two incredible human beings who are a better reward than any career I could have had. So I think it was worth it. Well worth it.

But now I have to get up the courage to try to get back into the workplace. I keep putting it off. I don't know that I have anything to offer. And, to be honest, I'm not sure I can handle working 40 hours a week. Especially with summer coming. Physically, I have a hard time handling the Texas heat. It drains the energy right out of me. People with MS should not live in this kind of climate.

Wish me luck. It's time for me to get out there and do something. But what? I really do need to do it, not just financially, but sometimes I just feel stagnant. I just have to do it. I'm scared.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Some cabernet sauvignon, Marvin Gaye, and a bubble bath

When we built this house, my most important request was a great big tub (preferably a jacuzzi). Well, I got my wish. And tonight, Jim is playing hockey, Greg is at a friend's house, Chris is upstairs watching tv, and I decided I needed a good long bath.

Feeling a little mellow, I bypassed Aerosmith and the Allman Brothers and chose The Very Best of Marvin Gaye, CD 1. Poured the wine. Started filling the tub, adding my cucumber&melon bubble bath (I'm not a floral person, I prefer the tastier scents), lit all the candles, turned off the lights....

Turned on the CD player before I got in the tub. Oh how I love Marvin Gaye. This CD has all his duets with Tammi Terrell. Absolutely gorgeous music. You can close your eyes and just float away. Perfect.

A nice,long bath in a candlelit room with the perfect music is like taking a mini-vacation. There is nothing better to lift your spirits.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Odds and Ends


I spent some time in here talking about my mother's hometown of Strong, Pennsylvania. I found a really cool website, Coalregion.com and it's so spot on about the area!

Even found a picture of an old firetruck that used to reside in the hosey. Those are the houses at the top of the 'patch' near the hosey. (I hope the owner of that site doesn't mind me stealing it!) My mom thinks this is the firetruck that she and my dad rode on their wedding day (my grandfather was a volunteer fireman).

I am going to recruit my niece, who still lives in Mt. Carmel, to go out this summer and take some pictures of specific landmarks. Including my grandparent's house and some other areas I would like to see again. I bet she wouldn't mind.

I also have a copy of my great-grandparents' wedding certificate from 1906. It's a beautiful certificate, but it's not aging well. The writing is almost gone. I really need to find someone who can preserve this. It's a hundred years old! I can't believe that my grandfather kept it all those years. He even copied everything it said on another piece of paper. Smart man, my grandfather. I guess he knew it wouldn't last.

My grandfather also kept journals of every penny that he spent. Every doctor's visit, every nail, every gallon of paint.... dates and prices. It's an amazing little piece of history.

Well, that's enough for tonight. My sons are going through pictures of the eldest's high school years. He graduates next week. Where did the last 18 years go?

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Feeling Old

Jim was looking for darts. A good set. He's had a set for years, but he decided that maybe there was something better these days. So we were told to go to The Gas Pipe on Burnet Road.

We walked into this store, through the bamboo beaded curtains, and walked straight back into 1981. In 1981, we were living in upstate New York. We were in our early 20s. We were having a carefree crazy life. Walking into this establishment was like having a flashback. The smell of incense was heavy in the air. There were showcases full of pipes, papers, and 'water pipes'. Of course, these are all meant for tobacco use. What other possible use could there be? It's all legal and stuff, with a wink and nod. Sign outside reads: "You will use the proper terminology inside, or you will be asked to leave." In other words, it's NOT a head shop. Really, it's not.

There was a store in Woodstock (the town, not the concert) that was so very much like this. As a matter of fact, at that store, back in 81 or 82, we bought a three-foot red plastic 'water pipe' (for tobacco use only, of course). Oh hell, that wasn't what it was used for. And we called it what it was, a bong. And there wasn't any legal reason that a store couldn't sell it to me for any reason that I wanted to use it.

I remember when we moved out of our first house, in 1993, I found that red bong in the back of a closet when we were packing..... Wow. Hadn't seen it for years. Now I'm getting reading for the movers to come, I have two young children, and I threw it away.

Yes, we all grow up eventually. And I grew up probably back in 1985 or so. Regrets? Not a single one. Before or after I grew up. And yeah, I would love to be 22 again, just for a day or two. Really really fun times when there wasn't as much to worry about.

The Gas Pipe. I felt so old when I was in there. So old and conservative. But damn. It wasn't always that way. And I can certainly appreciate that some things should never change, no matter how much we try to legislate them away. And that is a very, very good thing.

Oh - and he didn't buy the darts. He said that they were nice and everything, but there was nothing wrong with the old ones. Some things just aren't meant to be replaced. Amen.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

When did this happen?

When did I start to become so conservative? Trust me, I wasn't always like this. I am a very reluctant conservative. What is in a label anyway? There really isn't a label to describe me. I never thought about myself being in a particular group.

When I was 19, I was working in a law office as a secretary. One of the lawyers asked me if I was registered to vote. No, I wasn't. He walked me over to the courthouse and told me to register. He said he didn't care who I voted for, but that it was my responsibility to vote. And that was that. The first presidential election I voted in was 1980. I voted for Reagan. I was 21 years old. I had come of age in the Carter years, which were a mess. The Iran mess, gas rationing, interest rates about 17% and up..... those were some really bleak years. I voted against Jimmy Carter. That was how I saw it.

In the 90s, I was a Clinton voter. I liked Bill and Hillary (although I thought she was the smarter of the two). The 90s were good years. And in 2000, I voted for Al Gore. Not because I liked him all that much, but because I wasn't all that impressed with George Bush as governor of my state. I actually thought Al was a bit of an idiot, but whatever... I really really started to hate Al though when he just wouldn't concede and let the country move on.

I have always taught my boys that being a gracious loser is more important than winning. And what happened in 2000 tore the country apart. It was close. It shouldn't have been that close, but whatever. By dragging this thing out, it created deep scars in our society that have not yet healed. I honestly think we would be a better country if Al Gore had just conceded. I bet if he had, George Bush would not have been re-elected in 2004.

For some reason, so many in this country are treating this as a competition, a championship like the Super Bowl, if you will. It has become ugly and vicious and it doesn't have to be that way. And it all started because Al Gore didn't do the right thing for this country. It may not have been fair, but we would be in a better place today if that rift hadn't been torn open.

So this past election, 2004. I didn't vote for a presidential candidate. I voted in all the other categories, and left the presidential ballot blank. What? Nothing wrong with that. I wish they had a box marked "None of the above". I'm sorry, but John Kerry is an idiot. Another politician born with a silver spoon in his mouth who has no clue about what I deal with on a daily basis. Just like our president. There really isn't that much difference between the two. Career politicians. Rich career politicians. I have made up my mind that I will only vote FOR someone, not AGAINST someone. The lesser of two evils just doesn't cut it for me.

I wonder if I will vote for a president in 2008? They better field two good candidates who speak to me. What is it that I expect? I expect them to stop pandering to the extreme fringe lunatics of their parties. I expect them to start speaking to regular Americans, like me, who don't care about the extreme ideas.

What do I believe?

I believe that we should spend less money. Downsize the damn government. Make personal responsibility a mantra. I do not want a nanny state. I want less bureaucracy and more freedom. Rewrite the tax code. You shouldn't need a PhD to figure out how to file your taxes. I does not have to be so complicated.

Gay people want to get married? Let them. It doesn't threaten me. I don't care one way or the other. I just want them to stop screaming about it. I want to stop being hit over the head with the 'gay agenda'. I get it. I don't care. You have a right to your life. I have a right not to have to hear about it. I'm not your enemy. I'm not against you.

Abortion? I personally could never do it. But that's between a woman and her conscience. It's not that important. Drop it already. It's legal. It's going to continue to be legal. I don't care. Alright?

Global warming. I believe it. It's happening. So fix it. Why are we still using fossil fuels anyway? I can carry a telephone in my pocket and use it anywhere - why has the telephone evolved in the past 100 years but we are still using fossil fuels to move our cars? Come on people, you can do better than that.

Islamofascists - the biggest threat to the world as we know it. And everyone panders to them... don't offend them. Don't profile them. Let them be. Hell no. They oppress their women, kill gays, are the single most intolerant people on this earth... and yet they are given some kind of protected status? Fuck that. Time to wake up and stand up to them. They are multiplying like rats.

Immigration. Secure our damn border already! Tell the immigrants marching in the street against OUR government that they ought to be marching in Mexico City against the government that is at the root of their problems.

Conservative/liberal.... I am a woman without a label. And I know that I am a woman without a presidential candidate too.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

I need more rocks!


It's going to be hot today. And it's not even May! Okay, so it's close enough.

Took the dogs for a walk today and brought home some more rocks. Why would I carry a bag of rocks home? Well, because I need them for my garden. No, I'm not planting rocks. Borders! I like to use them for borders. I installed a pretty urn fountain and planted some flowers around it. Now I need rocks for a border. I would rather use something more natural than any of those manufactured things you can buy at Home Depot. Here is a picture of my work in progress. Little yard, big dreams.

I planted some verbena because the butterflies like it. I put out the hummingbird feeders yesterday because they should be migrating back shortly. After ten years, I've finally learned how to garden in Texas. It takes a lot of trial and error to find things that you know will grow. I planted some asters for the first time. We'll see how they endure the heat. They will only get morning sun where I've planted them, so hopefully they will survive.

My roses are flourishing so far this year. I do have a problem with blackspot on one of them. Trying to contain that and eliminate it. Wish me luck!

Time to take a shower and get to the grocery store.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Ten Years in Texas

This is the second longest I have ever lived in one place my entire life!

The record is eleven years on Zandhoek Road in Hurley, New York. The very first home we ever bought. 1982. $38,500. No, it wasn't a dump. Homes were pretty cheap back then. But interest rates were high. Our first mortgage was 17 1/2%%%. How's that for an interest rate? That house would be paid off now. Damn. It had a gorgeous view of the Catskill Mountains. Biggest problem was the backyard. Pretty much all downhill. Not much usable space. But it sure was pretty.

If you had told me 25 years ago that I would end up in Texas, I would never have believed it. Then again, I was always open to new places. Left Philadelphia after I got married in 1980 to live in the Catskill Mountains. Four hours away from home was perfect. Far enough away that the family couldn't just 'drop in', but close enough for a weekend visit back home. It's not that I'm not a family person, it's just easier to like your family more when you don't have to deal with the internal politics on a daily basis. Plus it forced me to grow up and it made my marriage the most important relationship in my life immediately.

In 1994, we moved to Boca Raton, Florida. Now THAT was my favorite place to live ever. From our front door to the beach was twelve miles. It was perfect. I call that my 'two year vacation'. We moved to Texas in 1996. I hated it at first. But now, it's home. And it was a great place to raise my boys. They went to good schools and are excellent students. But I don't think any of us will ever call ourselves "Texans". Me? I'm still a Philly girl. But when I talk to people 'back home', I am starting to hear their accents. So I guess that means I've been gone long enough to notice.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Hooked on Genealogy

My dad's father was an only child. So was my dad. So I never knew anyone who had my last name. A newspaper clipping that my brother found when he was cleaning out my grandmother's house led me to start researching my grandfather's family.

My grandfather was only four months old when his dad was killed in the coalmines. I didn't even know his father's name until I saw that clipping. That led me on a search to learn more. I spent hours pouring over old census records on microfiche at the LDS Family History Center. It is a glimpse into another world. I found out that my great-grandfather was already working in the coal mines at 15 years of age. And he was dead at 25.

Now that there is so much online, I am finding more. Northumberland Mine Fatalities 1909.

Here is the entry of my great-grandfather's death:

13-Aug Millard, Lot- English, Miner, 25, M, Locust Gap. Killed by fall of slate at face of breast while trying to bar it down.

Both of my grandfathers were coal miners. And they both lost their fathers to the mines. Looking into the past certainly opens your eyes to a very hard life. If you read that document and see the circumstances to so many deaths, it is really shocking and heartbreaking.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Strong, Pennsylvania



My mother was from a little town in Pennsylvania called Strong. That was the official name. But it was always known as Green Ridge, or just "the Ridge". My grandfather was a coalminer, and this little town was originally built as company housing.

The town had 66 buildings. I know this because they started at "1" and ended at "66". All but two of these buildings were houses, mostly duplexes. There were only three streets which were parallel to each other: Front Street, Second Street, and Third Street. Front Street was actually Route 61 which sort of passed by this little town. My grandparents lived on Second Street, in the middle.



At the top of the town was the 'hosey'. For those of you unfamiliar with a 'hosey', it is the volunteer firehouse. Also known as the 'hosehouse', or 'hosey' for short. Every hosey in that area has a bar. At dinner time, the wives would send their kids up to retrieve daddy from the hosey. That's where he would be having a beer with all his buddies.

The hosey was a big brick building with one bay for their one firetruck. It had one of those big old-fashioned front porches with the half-wall that you could sit on and watch the traffic go by on a lazy summer day. There was also an upstairs that you could rent out for baby showers or weddings. It was the social center of a tiny town.

At the other end of town (about two blocks away) was the 'ending'. That's what it was always called: the ending. When I was a little girl, that was where we would play kickball or just climb up on the decaying concrete railroad trestle and smoke cigarettes that we bought from a machine at the Tastee Freeze across Rt. 61. The ending was just a dusty field - shale and coal dust. This is where the rail tracks were that used to carry the coal from the mines. In the summer, the wild blackberry bushes would be bursting with sweet fruit and we would devour it by the handfulls. To run from the ending to the hosey would only take a few minutes although it was mostly uphill. To go back the other way, downhill, it was probably much faster.

No one had driveways. The front of the houses butted right up to the roads. My grandmother's narrow front porch (only deep enough for a couple of folding chairs) was actually built over the road. We used to sit under there in the shade and play jacks. Obviously they were very quiet roads (except Front Street because that was the highway). Everyone shared yards, although a few had fences. My grandmother shared her yard with the Hollisters - two spinster sisters and a brother. They had a hanging swing under an arbor with a grapevine. I remember swinging there and eating the sweet grapes in the summer also.

It was such a tiny town, we didn't have a mailman. The post office was actually someone's house on 3rd Street. I don't remember the old woman's name who was the postmistress, but I would be sent to retrieve the mail. Through the front door to a tiny vestibule with a pot belly stove and a window. She would come out to the window when she would hear you and give you the mail. Across the street from the post office, was a store. Like the rest of the town, it was small. Run by a man named Albert Rossi, but he was called "Gabsy" for some reason. A friendly man with a booming voice that knew everyone by name (well, that isn't hard to do in such a small town). Gabsy made the best kielbasa. And he made something that was called "city chicken". It was actually pork, I think, on a wooden skewer. Oh, and he had a penny candy case. He would be so patient as we would try to decide what we wanted to spend our five cents on. He kept 'books'. My grandmother would send me to Gabsy to get what she needed and he would put it on her book. My mother told me that Gabsy kept many a family fed during the depression or when they were out of work. I remember him as a funny, friendly and kind man in a white apron.

Life was very simple in the Ridge. Life was slow. Everyone knew everyone else. The coal mines had closed up, the houses had been sold, but most everyone had some connection to the mines. I remember my grandfather had retired from the mines, but was working at Shamokin Hospital in maintenance until he retired.

The house they lived in was always immaculate. No one was a better housekeeper than my grandmother. And that was no easy task living in a place where the coal dust still blew and left a black haze over everything. When I would come in from playing, my feet would be black and I would be sent up to the tub immediately. And what a tub it was! One of those big cast iron tubs with the claw feet. And like everything else in the house, it was sparkling clean and shiny.

I spent many a summer in the Ridge. We were living near Philadelphia, but we spent a lot of time there with my grandparents. It was only a three hour drive. We would go up in the winter for short visits too, on holidays.

As a little girl, I remember the coal bin in the basement. That was how they heated the house. There was a grate in the floor between the parlor and the dining room where the heat would come up from the coal furnace. That was the only heat. The bedrooms and bathroom upstairs were always very cold, and the attic was positively frosty!

Now, I say 'dining room' but it was really the tv room. My grandmother didn't have a dining room. We always ate in the kitchen. The dining room had a couch and two chairs, one of which was my grandfather's chair with his little table for his glass of beer. They had a big zenith console television with cable. Cable was only for places that couldn't get tv reception in those days. Very few channels, mostly from Scranton and Wilkes Barre. I can remember watching Lawrence Welk and Mitch Miller on that tv. My grandfather loved 'rassling'. There was no WWF back then. It was fake too, but it was very primitive. My grandmother and her sister-in-law, Aunt Cely (Cecilia), loved to watch roller derby. Two old ladies really getting into it. Funny stuff.

The parlor of course, was just for company. Nothing fancy, but it was off limits.

Sometime in the 70s, they converted to an oil furnace and hot air heat. The winter nights around the grate in the floor were no more.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Secane, Pennsylvania

Starting with the first home that I have memories of.... it was a post-WWII cape cod in Upper Darby township. The corner of Providence Road and Prospect Avenue. Just a small neighborhood. Every home the same. I believe conformity was the plan.

The neighborhood was a small one, and most everyone knew everyone else. My mother had a beauty shop in the basement of the house. Most of the women in the neighborhood came to her on a weekly basis. The result of which was that my mom pretty much knew everything that went on in the neighborhood. Forget about getting away with anything!

Across Providence Road, there was a shopping center. A strip mall, as was the norm in the 60s. Anchored by an A&P supermarket, it included a RiteAid drug store, Hoys 5&10, Mattson's Gift Shop, the Post Office (zip code 19018), the J. Lynn Deli and other stores which came and went over the years.

Directly across the street from my house and next to the post office was Secane Pizza. Both of my brothers worked there in their teens. My best memories, though, were the deli. My best friend, Maureen, and I would go there sometimes on a Saturday to have lunch. We felt very grown up. It was a small place, with booths. We would bring some quarters because it had those individual jukeboxes in each booth. We would give our waitress the order. I would always order the cheesburger meal, with french fries and a pickle. And a large coke. It was exactly $1.16. It's really strange how these details never go away..... I can still see the long narrow restaurant part of the deli. Booths on each side. I don't remember though if there were tables too. But I can remember the booths.

Hoys 5&10 was a favorite in the summer because they had a Rosati's water ice cart. For 25 cents you would get a paper cone full of a scoop of water ice. Vanilla and bubble gum were my favorites. That stuff was so good. I miss it. Can't buy it in Texas.

I went to Primos Elementary School and St. Eugene's Catholic School. I went to both at various times. Summers were spent at Primos-Secane Swim Club. Another detail that I never forget was our membership number, 139. We had plastic laminated membership cards and that number was printed on it. You handed it in at the gatehouse and they put it in the coordinating slot. You got to know your friends' numbers too and you could always tell if they were at the pool because their card would be in their slot. The cards were color-coded according to age. You had to be over 12 in order to be there without your parents. It was so great to finally hit that 12 year old mark!

One of the weird things is that I can still remember how the schools smelled. Primos always smelled like cleaning detergents, paint, modelling clay.... St. Eugene's always smelled like the incense burned at church. The church was actually attached to the school, so that made sense.

We lived there from 1964 until 1972. I was almost 13 when we moved. Here is my "where are they now?" list: Maureen Kennelly, Debbie Sweat, Sheila Babcock, Marydenise Collins.... I know Maureen is in Rhode Island. She and Marie Morris were my best friends. We had the best sleepover parties!! Marie and I still keep in touch through email. She is in Florida. I am in Texas. None of us are still in the same state! Weird, huh?

Growing up, we loved the Monkees, Bobby Sherman, David Cassidy, Dark Shadows, HR PufnStuf... Back then, there was a cycle to the television seasons. At the end of summer, we would be looking forward to the new fall shows. Especially the Saturday morning cartoons! There was no 24/7 cartoon channels. Saturday morning belonged to the kids and cartoons. No VCRs, no DVDs.... The Wizard of Oz was on television once a year. And it was always a much anticipated event! There were three channels on tv. ABC, CBS, NBC. Oh and PBS. Nothing on PBS for us. This was before Sesame Street and the idea of educational children's programming. And then there were the UHF channels. It was like AM/FM radio. Different tuner and antenna. They had the old movies and some cartoons. And crazy movie hosts like Dr. Schock. And the corniest commercials! Krass Brothers in Philadelphia comes to mind... And television was not 24 hours a day! If you fell asleep with the tv on, it would wake you up around 4 AM with a waving flag and the Star Spangled Banner being played. Then it would sign off for the night. How quaint is that?

Ah well, more memories later.....

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Low

The past couple of weeks have been really hard. I really don't know why. Well, that's not altogether true. I'm just a little depressed about things.

I really try to be positive and I hate talking about things that are wrong. When I was diagnosed with MS, I didn't want anyone to know. Well, except for my husband and my family that is. But I just didn't want to have to talk about it. I didn't want to have to say those words out loud "I have MS". Most of all, I did not want anyone to feel sorry for me. It took a couple of months before I could talk to anyone about it, to say it out loud. And then I was okay.

Whenever anyone would ask me, I would just tell them that everything was great. It was no big deal. It wasn't stopping me from doing anything. And then I would change the subject. I am a person with MS. It does not define me and I don't want to dwell on it.

And luckily, it has been very benign. But I do feel the fatigue. Especially in the summer heat. I can't seem to get through the afternoon without needing a nap. And that just ain't right! I am NOT 80 years old for cryin' out loud! But if that's the worse that I have to deal with, then I can't complain.

But it's my eyesight. And it has nothing to do with MS. Other than the fact that my right eye is affected by optic neuritis (a symptom of MS). But that is sometimes bad, and sometimes okay. It's never completely normal. My big problem right now is that I have had one surgery to fix the muscles of that eye because my eyes aren't on level. I've had it all my life, but a prism in that lens was enough to correct it. As I've gotten older though, the muscles have weakened and I have constant double vision. So I had one operation in July. That didn't fix it so I'm having another one next week. Damn, I just want to be able to see clearly again! I can't read for very long because my eyes just get so tired....

This morning I woke up and my other eye, the good one, was sore and swollen and red. And I can't help thinking that this sucks. I don't know if it's an infection or what.... but I hate it. I'm tired of it. I just want all of this stuff to go away.

So I am feeling sorry for myself. And I hate feeling sorry for myself! This is NOT SO BAD. And I usually suck it up and move on.... but I just can't seem to shrug things off as easily as before.

Well, that's enough for now. Except GO LONGHORNS! It's gonna be a good game tonight. So I will have a good time. I promise. We're going to have friends over to watch it. I'll drink some wine and laugh a lot. I prefer wine to whine any day!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Family Visits

My brother and his family (wife and two daughters) were here for a week. I haven't seen them in over 10 years. It was a really nice visit.

I left the northeast in 1994. We lived in Florida for two years, and then moved here to Texas. Even though I spent the first 35 years of my life in the northeast, I never missed it once I left. I did, however, miss Florida like crazy when we moved to Texas. I still want to go back to Florida. But not central Florida. Gawd no... our house in Boca was 12 miles from the Atlantic Ocean. Yes, it got hot. Yes, we had humidity. But it wasn't oppressive. I loved it. The climate fed my soul. I loved it! I have, however, been to Orlando in July and would NEVER recommend that! Now THAT is oppressive. You have to live near the coast to appreciate Florida.

When we first came to Texas, I hated it. I felt like I had been ripped out of paradise and deposited in the desert. The summers are hotter and the winters are colder. It's a lose/lose situation. But after 9 years, it's home. The summer is still hot. The winters aren't as bad as the northeast. And it's home now. And if I must live in Texas, the Austin area is the BEST.

My brother and his family had never been to Texas. They loved it. They went to the Alamo. We took a Sunday drive all through Austin and stopped in to see the Capitol and toured the UT campus by car. They really thought it was a great city. And I guess it really is. It's interesting to see your 'home' through a visitor's eyes. And I can appreciate how funky and different the city of Austin is. To me, Austin is a big town/little city. I am not intimidated navigating it's streets. Drop me into the middle or Dallas or Houston and you will see panic! I hope Austin never gets like that (although it's growing more crowded every year.)

The thing that they kept saying was how 'clean' it is here. Is it really? No.... it's just younger. I remember when we first moved to Florida. I had that same impression. Everything is clean and bright. I think it is just that in comparison to the northeast, it seems that way. The northeast is the oldest part of our country. It was once very industrial. The infrastructure is aged. The winters take their toll on things. It's just older. And I do believe the air isn't as clean either. So there are many factors. It's a comparison between apples and oranges.

There are times when I miss the history of the northeast. But those times are few. I do miss the mountains of New York in the fall. We had a wonderful view from our living room window that was like a picture postcard on autumn days, and in the winter after a snowfall. But I really have no desire to move back there. I do need to go for a visit one of these days though.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The difference between my mom and me

My mom has been living with me for 12 years now. Gawd.... that's more than half as long as I lived with her before I grew up and moved out. Well, it hasn't always been terrible, but lately I have very little tolerance with her. And I feel kind of bad about that.

I have two teenage sons, 14 and 17. They are great kids. They aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but they are both great students. They get mostly A's and some B's on their report cards. They and their friends spend lots of time at my house. I like to make them welcome here because I want them to spend lots of time here. Sure it means that Jim and I usually end up watching tv in the bedroom so the kids can have the family room, but that's okay.

You know how people tell you that you'll understand your parents once you have your own kids? Well, I understand all right. I understand that my mother and I look at things very differently. My mom was a control freak when I was young. She is the type of person who always thinks the worse of people. I am not like that. My boys understand that I trust them, and I will trust them until they break that trust. So far, they haven't done anything that would even remotely cause me to be suspicious of them. That doesn't mean that I don't check up on them. It doesn't mean that they can do whatever they want whenever they want. But overall, they have given me no reason to doubt that they are good kids and that their friends are good kids.

But my kids have two 'moms'. My mother pushes her authority a little too far sometimes. She second-guesses ME which drives me up a fucking wall. She is always saying stuff like "He reminds me of your brother." My brother barely made it through school, he was a terrible student. He started drinking when he was about 12. He was always off wandering somewhere. And the more my mother tried to control him, the worse he got. My kids are NOTHING like that..... They are usually here, their friends are usually here, and when they are not, I know where they are and who they are with. They know my rules, and I don't feel the need to 'control' their lives. I accept that they will try to sidestep some rules, but they have not yet broken my trust. As a matter of fact, my oldest was at a New Year's Eve party two years ago and the friend that drove him there had a drink or two. He called me at midnight to ask us to pick him up. He knows that I never want him to get in a car with anyone who's been drinking. No questions. No lectures. We'll talk about it later. We did. And we're okay. No big deal. My mother, on the other hand, has to get all hysterical about stuff and it's a big fucking deal..... That's why I don't tell her most things that go on with my children.

I am amazed that as my kids go through their teenage years, I am finding that the resentment I felt toward her when I was a teenager is still there. I could never be honest with her. To this day I can't be honest with her (and I'm 46 years old!). So I guess it didn't happen with me. I never came to that understanding about why she was such an obsessive-compulsive, distrustful person when I was younger. And why she's still that way. I just wish that she would let me parent my own children without interference.

Okay, rant over......

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Banks

Last summer, my son got his first real job. He was 16 1/2. I took him out to open up a savings account in a local bank so that he could take the responsibility of depositing his own paycheck. He already has a savings account at my husband's credit union, where we have banked for 25 years. But the branch is in Austin, it's not local and convenient. I wanted my son to go through the process of opening up his own account and taking care of his money. The account I've had for him since he was a baby is something I've always handled. Plus, I don't really want him to have access to that account yet.

So we go up the street to the Bank of America. I could not believe it when we sat down and they would NOT open up an account for him unless I had an account there with a minimum balance! That's ridiculous. Believe me, I understand that banks are all about money and my son doesn't and won't have much in this little account. But I could not believe they refused to let him open an account. I guess I'm out of the loop, but it just didn't make sense to me.

When I was a little girl, probably 9 or 10, I remember opening up my first savings account at the bank across the street from our house. They gave me a little plastic transistor radio for opening an account with probably about ten bucks! I would save quarters for crying out loud! I guess things have really changed.

I then took my son to Wells Fargo, which was just down the road. What a difference! A really sweet woman sat down with us and opened up an account for him, explained to him all the details, he doesn't have to pay a monthly fee, he gets a visa check card, and he has online access to his account! When I told her what happened at Bank of America, she was very surprised. She said that in her opinion giving my son an account is an investment in the future. One day he will need a car loan, or a mortgage, or investment counseling, and that hopefully he will stay with Wells Fargo. EXACTLY!

He has his paycheck deposited directly and he keeps track of his account online. It has been great for him. And I would like to thank Wells Fargo for being teen-friendly! As a matter of fact, two of his friends also opened accounts there on his recommendation because they were also turned down by other banks!

Okay, that's just something I wanted to get out there today.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Thunder and Lightening

Welcome to spring - storms rolling across the area today. Saturday was meh - wet and dreary. Sunday was sunny, warm and gorgeous. This morning it's raining and storming again. We've had lots of rain recently, but in Texas it's either feast or famine. We'll probably be going through the same extremely hot and dry summer this year. Once summer rolls in, so does the excruciating heat and relentless sun. So I won't be complaining about all the rain we get now.

Boring post about the weather. There is so much I want to talk about, and all I can talk about is the damn weather?

Later.......

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Spam

We all get it..... somehow some of it manages to elude the gatekeepers guarding our mailboxes. No matter what software you are using, or internet provider, or how vigilant you are at keeping your address from the general public, these parasites manage to worm their way into your personal space. I have a few web-based email addresses that I use whenever I am forced to enter an email address anywhere - whether it is to sign up for online newspaper access or to buy something from a commercial site. Those are the ones that produce a flood of unwanted spam from under every rock buried under the foundation of the internet. My primary email address, which I pay for via my SBC Global account, is amazingly free of spam. SBC Yahoo does one helluva job keeping it out (so far). But I am very stingy with that account and only use it for personal email. Anything else goes to one of my 'free' mail accounts. And those accounts are overrun with spam at all times of the day or night. I guess you get what you pay for.

Which begs the question - who in their right mind actually reads this stuff? Who would actually click on one of those links? Seems like a lot of people are interested in cheap rolexes, access to various prescription drugs (vicodin, viagra, etc), want to view free porn, increase the size of their male member, and untold other things. Sometimes the subject of the spam is cleverly hidden - so I will check the missive just to be sure. Silly me - if I don't recognize the email addy you would think I would know better. And there it is - another friggin' ad for something I don't want, need, or believe would actually serve any useful purpose at all! Is this business really that lucrative? It must be because there sure is alot of it. Someone must be buying what they're selling or it would stop being profitable. I refuse to 'click' because I know that means someone is gonna get paid for bothering me! It's the principle of the thing..... But someone, somewhere is clicking at this very second. Amazing, isn't it?

Before Texas started their "Do Not Call" list, I bought a TeleZapper at Radio Shack. That sucker worked like a charm! Within a couple months, my telemarketing calls were down to nothing. When the "Do Not Calls" came out, I signed up for them also. If I am needing something, I will go looking for it! Don't call me - I'll call you! Why can't we do that for spam also? And don't give me that freedom of speech crap either. You can advertise all you want - but don't solicit me directly.....

I just wish people would stop reading, and if they must read, don't CLICK!!! Don't put money in the pockets of the bottomfeeders who are generating this stuff from their kitchen table in their spare time!

Okay - rant officially over now. We now return to our scheduled programming.......

Sunday, February 20, 2005

1980

Why do I begin this blog with 1980? Well, it's on my mind tonight. ESPN showed a 25th anniversary repeat of the USA hockey team victory over the Soviet Union in the 1980 Olympics. The now famous "Miracle on Ice". That was a very precious moment and I remember it well. I was already a hockey fan. I grew up just outside of Philly and I was a rabid Flyers fan. Our Olympic hockey team in 1980 was amazing. The game was actually played in the afternoon but not broadcast until prime time that night. Since there wasn't any internet in those days, if you avoided the evening news and anyone who might already know the outcome, you had no idea what the final outcome was. I was still living at home and I can remember sitting in the family room with my dad and crying when that game ended. I still have the details of that room in my mind - the hideous foil wallpaper, the green "early american" style couch... and my dad had a fire going in the fireplace. Real wood - not gas which is what I have now in my Texas home.

Yes, 1980 was a good year. That June, I turned 21. Turning 21 was a huge deal in those days. It meant that I no longer had to drive 20 mins to Delaware to a dive called Stanley's Horse and Buggy Tavern to legally buy a beer. Drinking age was 20 in Delaware at that time. Before that, we would sometimes drive over to Jersey because their drinking age was 18. That was just a little further drive - maybe 1/2 hour. Now that I am a 45 year old mother of two teenagers, I would NEVER want to see my kids doing that shit! We were insane. It's funny how you feel immortal when you are young. Nothing bad can ever happen to you. Everything was so innocent.

My parents had a swimming pool in the backyard. On my 21st birthday, my best friend Betty, and my fiance (now husband) Jim and other friends showed up at our house was a quarter keg. That was a helluva party. Jim also brought me a bottle of champagne and a dozen red roses. When my parents came home from work, the party was in full swing. Even though I had very uptight parents, they were amazingly cool about it.

That summer, I was getting ready for my wedding. That happened in September. Wow - this will be our 25th anniversary this year. That's a fuckin' long time! So in September, Jim and I got married and we packed up my stuff and went to New York. That's where he had been living and working for over a year. The Catskill Mountains, Kingston, to be exact. Beautiful place. Mountains and lots of snow in the winter. We had a great apartment a few blocks from IBM (where he worked). I can still see the parking lot view from my window. I can still almost smell the hallways when everyone was cooking something different for dinner. It was so exciting for us to have our own place..... it was so cool! I didn't have to live with my mother's furniture and wallpaper and stuff anymore. I was four hours away and I finally felt like a grown up.

October 1980 the Phillies won the World Series. I loved the Phillies. My dad used to take me to the Vet to see Sunday doubleheaders..... They were always such an awful team but they had their highlights. Like the year Steve Carlton won 27 games AND the Cy Young Award. I think the team only won about 50 games that year total, so Carlton was responsible for more than half of their wins. But I didn't care if they didn't win much because I was a devoted and loyal fan no matter what. When they went to the World Series, I was so excited. Jim was working second shift in those days, so I was by myself in the apartment. The last game of the series, Tug McGraw pitching. Last inning. One more out. I was on the floor in front of our 19 inch television with a glass of wine in my hand...... I remember crying when it finally ended. I was so happy and yet so sad. I was so far away - I wanted to be in Philly for the parties and the parades and the excitement. Instead I was alone in my apartment........ but it was still great!

Damn....... 1980 was a very good year!